Kawaii no Jutsu
by Takara-Myatsu
Summary: Discontinued.
1. Creation of Kawaii no Jutsu!

Chapter 1: The creation of Kawaii no Jutsu!

Author: Ok, this is a fanfic that was inspired by a few funny fanfics that I read a while ago. Personally, I think it's funny. Now I want you guys to review me your opinions!

Enjoy!

R&R!

Naruto sat at his favorite Ichiraku's Ramen bar enjoying a nice bowl of ramen. _'There's got to be a way to get things that I want in life. Some Jutsu that will make people listen to me and give me things that I want!'_

Naruto slurped up the rest of his ramen and left. Walking down a street, a voice caught his attention. A chibi girl was begging her older sibling for candy, while putting on a cute face. Naruto's face cracked into an evil grin. _'I've got it! I'll just take that technique to the extreme…'_

The kitsune ran off to the forest clearing with a surface of water. There, he started to invent another Jutsu. Doing a hand seal, he transformed into a rather ugly chibi. _'No, too fat…no this time's too skinny…now it's too short!' _Naruto inspected his work with the most care, making sure that it would be perfect. After getting the look right, Naruto moved onto the voice. After many trials of that, he decided that his Jutsu is completed.

'_Now to test it out…_' Naruto walks up to Sasuke and asked him to join him in a bowl of ramen. Sasuke, being Sasuke, grunted. But then found him being dragged to the ramen shop. Finally relenting, Sasuke ordered the ramen and they both began to eat. Naruto, obviously finishing first, looked at Sasuke who has barely started to eat_. 'Yes, this would be perfect…_' Naruto grinned.

"That's a nice bowl of ramen you've got there…"

"No, not sharing."

"You're going to regret that!"

"Oh yeah! What are you going to do?"

"Observe, Kawaii no Jutsu!" Naruto turned into a chibi version of himself. "Please, Sasuke-Kun?"

Sasuke stared, then slowly handed Naruto the ramen. "Here…" Sasuke mumbled. "Losing self-control…"

"Naruto took the ramen from Sasuke and began to eat it happily. '_What a genius you are, Naruto…_' Naruto thought to himself.

"Kawaii no Jutsu, brother won't stand a chance…" Sasuke muttered.

In the forest

"Today is the day, Aniki. Your life is approaching its end!" yelled Sasuke.

"Burn tail and run little brother, you're still weak." Itachi mused.

"Kawaii no Jutsu!" Sasuke concentrated his chakra, while Itachi looked confused at the name. Sasuke was then surrounded by clouds and out stepped a chibi version of Sasuke.

"Please, Aniki! Drop dead…"

Itachi stared at his little brother before smacking him on the head. "MORON! Ever since you were a chibi, I've grown a resistance to that!"

Sasuke looked around frantically. His eyes fell on Naruto, who was currently chanting out 'Ramen'. Sasuke grabbed him and pulled him in front of Itachi. "Take that!"

Naruto looked surprised by Sasuke's actions but was terrified at the sight of the person in front of him. "Kawaii no Jutsu!" Naruto transformed. "Please, don't kill me…" Itachi stared…

'_Success…hehe…_' Sasuke grinned in triumph.

Itachi then grabbed chibi Naruto from Sasuke. "Kya! Kawaii!" Itachi hugged Naruto.

"The heck…k…" Sasuke sweatdropped. After watching for a while, Sasuke grabbed Naruto back.

"That's enough! You've had him long enough!"

"You've had him longer!"

The two brothers pulled at Naruto. Then, Naruto turned into a log. "Ah! Naruto!" Sasuke yelled.

"Naru-Chan? Naru-Chan?" Itachi looked around for the terrified ninja.

'Sibling rivalry. I've never faced anything so terrifying…" Naruto thought as he hid behind one of the surrounding trees.

Author: How'd you like the chapter? I want you guys to review me suggestions for the next victims of Naruto's 'Kawaii no Jutsu' and what happened to the victims. I was thinking Tsunade for the title Hokage or Kakashi to burn the Icha, Icha Paradise books. But that's up to you!

Review!


	2. Author's Note: Read you ppl

Author's note: Yes, this comic I saw, though I forgot where it came from inspired it. It was a long time ago, and it popped up just now. And I did give credit. I said this comic on the first chapter inspired it didn't I? Yes I did. You people need to read with more care, seriously. Though if any of you find out the name, then tell me so I can give proper credit, please!


	3. Target Kakashi

Chapter 2: Against Kakashi 

Author: Okay people, I found out the author of the comic that this story was inspired by. The name is 'bishihuntress'. The first chapter was pretty much the same, except for the creation part. I did give credit, but at the time, I did not know the name. So therefore, I now give proper credit to bishihuntress in name of the 1st chapter. From here on out is my own. Okay?

Review!

And Review!

Naruto lay on his stomach as he waited for his perverted sensei to show up. Probably took the route that was near the Icha, Icha Paradise bookstore. Man, that store has to shut down for the sake of punctuality. When Kakashi finally showed up, Naruto was partly asleep.

"Yo!"

"YOU'RE LATE!" Naruto and Sakura screamed.

"Hai, hai. I just saw someone mistreat this book so…"

"Lair!" Naruto crossed his arms.

"Anyway, your tasks are to get these three bells from me. And do it before lunch. Whoever does not get a bell, won't get lunch, and neither will they pass."

"But sensei, there are only 2 bells!" Sakura pointed out.

"Which means only 2 of you will get lunch."

"That's the same exercise that we did before!" Naruto yelled.

"True, but this time it does not matter whether if you use teamwork or not. Just get the bell and I guess you would know the rest."

"That's cheap!" Naruto declared.

"Hai, I know. On my count, 3…2…1!"

Sasuke and Sakura hid among the trees and bushes. Naruto stayed in the open.

"Let's take this battle on like great Shinobi warriors!"

'_Naruto you dobe…_' Sasuke shook his head_. 'The idiot…that's what he did last time!_'

Naruto grinned. "Sensei, last time, I attacked you with a newly learned technique. The Kage Bunshin. This time, I'll attack you with my newest and most ingenious creation! It's caught Sasuke and Itachi so far and I'm sure it'll work on you too!"

'_Naruto, what are you bluffing about? No technique should be able to fool be Sasuke and Itachi…_' Sakura thought.

'_Oh, no…Kakashi won't stand a chance. Especially since what I saw from my brother…_' Sasuke reminded himself of what happened yesterday and sighed.

"Observe, Kawaii no Jutsu!" Naruto turned into the same little chibi from before. "Please Kakashi, can you give widdle me a bell? I'll have to be hungry if you don't…"

Kakashi stared. And then slowly reached for a bell. '_You're such a genius, Naruto._' Naruto thought to himself.

"Here, Naruto…" Kakashi said slowly. '_What's happening to me? I'm losing all control over my body. That Kawaii no Jutsu is something to be afraid of…_'

"Naruto took the bell and deactivated the genjutsu. "Yatta! I win!"

Kakashi shivered as he, an elite Shinobi, lost at the hands of a single genjutsu. "Naruto, you get lunch. And as for…"

"Kawaii no Jutsu! Please, let Sakura starve. Kakashi-kun?" Kakashi nodded but immediately smacked his head after. Sakura and Sasuke came out of the clearing and gathered around Naruto. Kakashi handed Naruto and Sasuke a bento lunch. (AN: Let's just say Naruto gave Sasuke a bell) As for Sakura, she was tied to a post to watch everyone else eat.

"Can anyone spare some food?" Sakura begged with a teary face that is supposed to look 'cute'. (AN: AH! IT BURNS MY EYES!) Naruto and Sasuke ignored her. "Naruto, you had a crush on me. If you share, I'll go on a date with you." Naruto took out the last rice ball and held it in front of Sakura.

"This what you want?" Naruto asked.

"Yes!"

Naruto then popped it into his mouth and chewed. "Sorry, I like rice balls."

Sakura cried anime style. Naruto grinned and then walked off. Later on, when Sakura was finally free from the bounds, Squad 7 met up with Kakashi. Apparently, he was once again, reading Icha, Icha Paradise.

"Man, do I have to use my Jutsu again?"

"Naruto, a ninja won't fall for the same trick twice."

"Oh yeah? Kawaii no Jutsu!" Naruto did the appropriate hand seals. "Kakashi-kun? Burn your pornographic books for widdle me?"

Kakashi stared, then ran off to his house. He returned a while later with a cart of books and set them on the ground. Kakashi then took a few steps back. 'Kanton: Fireball no Jutsu!" The books burned to ashes as Naruto turned back to his normal self, crying anime tears.

"That was so beautiful…" Naruto sniffed. Sasuke watched with a satisfied smirk while Sakura turned starry eyed.

Kakashi then snapped out of the genjutsu and stared at the piles of ashes that was once his books. "No…I killed my books. Naruto, you big bully!"

"My job is done." Naruto then turned to run as a furious Kakashi chased him.

Author: There is the second chapter. Please review me so I can have some more ideas for the next chapter!


	4. Target Gaara!

Chapter 3: Target Gaara 

Author: Under VulcranDune's request, the next victim is Gaara! Oh and note**: The Kawaii no Jutsu serves only Naruto**. You saw when Sasuke tried to do it on Itachi and saw that it failed. Oh, and for future reviews, tell me what you guys want to happen to the victims ok?

Enjoy!

But most importantly, review!

Naruto walked down the street, thinking about how much of a genius he is, inventing the Kawaii no Jutsu and all. 'Who shall fall prey to me now?' Naruto grinned maniacally. His eyes dropped on Gaara, who was currently staring off towards an unknown direction. 'What would I want from him? Oh yeah, I want to him to stop his goddamn attitude, no, to beat Sakura with his sand. Yes, that's it.'

"Hey, what's up Gaara my good friend!"

"You want something don't you?"

"Hai, how'd you guess?"

"I don't guess, I can tell by the way you are talking."

"Hai, so I was thinking…"

"You don't think, that's why you're so rash."

"Neh, can you torture Sakura-teme with your sand?"

"She is too weak for me to even bother considering to fight her."

"Not fight, torture."

"No."

"I thought I wouldn't have to resort to this, but you give me no choice. Kawaii no Jutsu!" Naruto turned chibi. "But I'll cry if you don't. Please Gaara-kun?"

Temari stared, waiting for his brother's reaction. To her surprise, Gaara heaved his shoulders and sighed. "Where is she?"

Temari blinked, but then realized exactly why his brother relented as her eyes fell on Naruto. "What a Kawaii little Naruto…" Then Temari picked him up and hugged him. Gaara's sand immediately shot up and grabbed Naruto away and headed towards Sakura.

Naruto sat happily on the sand in his chibi form as they walked up to Sakura. "Die you evil fangirl!" Naruto shouted happily. Sakura looked up to see chibi Naruto and went into an anime trance.

"What a Kawaii little Naruto…"

"Frontal Assault, Gaara Forward!" Gaara sighed as he walked up to Sakura and encased her into a coffin of sand.

"I guess you have to die now. Wait, don't get me wrong. I'm doing this because of Naruto. He came up with this new Jutsu, and I don't know how I fell for it. Now, die.."

Sakura would've died a very painful death, but because I'm nice I'll let her live so I can torture her more in the future chapters. Apparently, Lee and Gai was walking down the street and came to Sakura's rescue. Gaara shrugged and walked off, leaving Naruto there.

"Naruto, how could you hurt Sakura-chan?" Lee cried.

Luckily, Naruto was still in his chibi form. "Please, can you buy me ramen?"

Gai and Lee stared at the little chibi. "Naruto, I will do anything for you! You just name it and it shall be granted! Oh for the love of youth!"

"Congratulations Lee, you've become just like me."

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

And the two hugged in front of a setting sun. How disturbing…

"Hello? What about ramen?"

"Hush Naruto, this is a special student and sensei moment!"

"I'll leave now…" And Naruto left to give the two Green Beasts of Konoha some space.

"Gaara-Kun! Can you treat me to ramen?"

"No, I've done enough favors already."

"Temari-chan?"

"Of course Naru-Chan!"

"Can Gaara-kun come too?"

"Of course, Naru-Chan!"

"Arigato!"

Temari, not able to resist Naruto's ingenious Jutsu granted his every wish. An unfortunate Gaara spent a lot of his money paying for Naruto's ramen. 'I should run next time I see Gaara.' Naruto thought. 'But for now, I'll just enjoy the ramen.'

END OF CHAPTER!

Author: I want reviews!


	5. Target Lee & Gai

Chapter 4: Target Lee & Gai!

Author: Sorry, but don't expect a lot of updates for the past few weeks. I've signed up to way too many extra curricular clubs at school. The Speech Arts contest is coming up along with the chess tournament. And the Student Council always drags the Executive members (President, Vice-President, Treasurer and Secutary) into the after-school meetings (I'm Executive). And there's the Chinese Calligraphy homework from my mom, plus the up-coming Science Fair. I hate my school life!

P.S.-I've taken a serious disliking of Sakura. So from this moment on, this story is officially Sakura Bashing!

Review…

And enjoy…

Naruto woke up at the sound of his ramen shaped clock on a particular morning. '_Oh crap, today's the Chunnin Exams! I'm gonna be late at this rate. There goes my hope of a large bowl of ramen for breakfast._' Naruto made a mad dash and ran down the street in a rushed manner. Finally arriving, Naruto came up to Sasuke and Sakura. Sasuke was in his' I 'm-Too-Cool-For-The-World' attitude while Sakura was in her mutant forehead mode (AN: Mwahahaha!). Naruto walked up to them and began to chat about how excited he was about the exam. Sasuke 'hmphed' while Sakura did nothing. They were both too afraid of the Kawaii no Jutsu, both has painful memories of it.

'_I rule and they know it. Naruto, you ingenious Hokage. I've got to try it out on Sakura. Kill her? Beat her? Make her take therapy for her giant forehead? Oh, yes. Naruto, you ingenious Hokage._' Team 7 made their way to the exam building when a boy with fuzzy eyebrows showed up.

"You, with the attitude! Fight me!" The Green Beast declared.

Sasuke smirked as he charged towards Lee. Unfortunately for him, Lee dodged the attack and slammed a kick into Sasuke's chin. The Uchiha was sent up into the air and crash-landed.

"Okay, no more holding back. Sharingan!" Sasuke's eyes changed from black to blood red. He then ran at Lee again.

Lee penetrated through his attack and sent a punch at Sasuke. "Your eyes may be one step ahead of me, but your body can't keep up with it. What good are those eyes if you can't take over an advantage with them? You were born with natural talent, while I had to train hard to work up to this standard. It proves that hard work and dedication overpowers natural gifts!" With that, Lee kicked Sasuke to the ground. Sakura ran and caught the boy, breaking the fall slightly. Even still the prodigy was shaken up not to mention defeated. Lee didn't even take on any sort of damage. The Sharingan couldn't copy Taijutsu styles.

"No! I'll take him!" Naruto yelled.

"Go ahead." Sasuke muttered.

"Kawaii no Jutsu! You wouldn't hurt a widdle boy like me, would you, Lee-Kun?" Naruto took a step forward and seeing Lee flinch; Naruto created a chibi Kage Bunshin and sent it after Lee. So basically, Lee lost. In the background, Sasuke was mentally cursing himself saying how unsuccessful his Kawaii no Jutsu end up, usually a swelling bruise. Naruto diffused the Jutsu and grinned. "I rule. Remember my name: Uzumaki Naruto, your future Hokage!"

Then, from a puff of smoke emerged a large turtle and a hideous looking man. "YOSH! NARUTO, YOUR FLAMES OF YOUTH ARE SO STRONG THAT THEY LED YOU INTO CREATING SUCH A JUTSU! EVEN LEE OBEYED IT!"

"Oh Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!" And they hugged…disturbingly.

"Kawaii no Jutsu!" Naruto sweatdropped at the scene. "Break it up, no one wants to see that!"

"No…this Jutsu…losing power…losing all self control…must obey…the chibi god…" Gai and Lee slowly parted from the hug and backed away from each other. "Lee, oh Lee, I'm so sorry. But the chibi god's word is law. We'll hug another time. Don't…let your youth flame die out…" Both cried out a waterfall.

"Gai-sensei, Gai-sensei! I shall not fail you my flame of youth will burn across time in any weather! I shall become just like you and carry on the name as the Green Beast of Konoha! Gai-sensei, I shall miss the comfortable warmth of your hug! MY FLAME WILL NEVER DIE AWAY!"

Team 7 sweatdropped. What kind of people are they, making a missed hug into a dramatic death scene. It was weird, no wrong. Finally regaining their composure, each began drowning themselves in thoughts.

'_I lost to a touchy-feely crybaby that easily? And to think, Naruto defeated him in just one Jutsu. A genjutsu is supposed to be the weakest of all ninja arts, but here it is. A genjutsu defeated the same opponent the Sharingan couldn't beat. Damn that Naruto, why can't my Kawaii no Jutsu work. DAMN!"_

'_Sasuke-kun lost to Lee, yet Naruto won like it wasn't even a challenge. It had to be luck. But so many great Shinobi have fallen for it. Itachi Uchiha, Suna Gaara, Kakashi Hatake…And Sasuke-kun said that his Kawaii no Jutsu failed on Itachi. How is it possible! Can Naruto actually have a quality that Sasuke-kun doesn't? NO! That's impossible. Have I been a fangirl of some handsome loser for the last few years?_'

Sasuke then sneezed. '_Damn, someone is either talking or thinking of me. Bet it's Sakura thinking of how I could have lost to fuzzy eyebrows. Then again, I sneeze all the time, with all those fangirls.'_

Flashback

Itachi stood in front of Sasuke. "Foolish little brother, no matter how hard you try, I will always be able to claim more girls than you. You can hate me, detest me, and live an unworthy life with minimal fangirls. But remember, I will always have more mortals who will be willing to throw their life away before me."

Sasuke stared. '_It can't be, I want fangirls! It's like this obsession, this mission, to have the most attention in the world! But Itachi is winning, how dare he double-cross his own brother, he knows how much attention means to me. It's my life support! There's only one solution to a case like this. KILL HIM! Just he wait until I get stronger!' _Sasuke then turned and ran away.

End Flashback

Naruto scratched the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. "Neh, Sasuke-teme, I defeated an opponent that kicked your ugly butt royally! Take that!"

Sasuke mentally slapped himself. '_Damn he's right. Cursed fuzzy eyebrows, I will send you to rot in hell! I hate you, you weird green monster! I will kill you, slowly and painfully. By shaving your fuzzy eyebrows, then that hideous super bowl haircut. Then I'll…' _Sasuke engrossed himself into a scheme of how he would one day kill Lee.

Naruto was still bragging about his victory. "I knew the guy had pride and would never hurt an innocent looking chibi, so I turned into one. It's like Kakashi-sensei said, 'Find your opponent's weakness and use it against them'. So that's what I did and I totally won while Sasuke being the loser he is got his butt whooped! I'm on a roll today, I'M ON FIRE!"

"Oh Naruto, your flame of youth…IT'S A ROARING INFERNO! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU; YOU'RE SO ENTHUSIASTIC! I WILL FOREVER ADMIRE YOUR CONFIDENCE!"

"HELL YA! Bow before Hokage Naruto!"

End of Chapter!

Author: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW FOR THE LOVE OF ME! BOW BEFORE THE QUEEN OF ANIME, THE INSPIRATION OF THE GREATEST FORM OF ART, TAKARA MYATSU! REVIEW, THAT'S AN ORDER! (I Love Abusing Power. Though I'm not really the anime queen, just among me and my friends.)


	6. Target Kabuto

Chapter 5: Target Kabuto!

Author: Sorry guys, but the Science Fair kept me busy for a while. It's over now so I can relax. Don't expect a lot of updates from now on, the Historica Project is coming up. Life in grade 7 is torture…

Either way, I just want to give a reminder; this story is now Sakura bashing completely. And if you guys know any great Sakura bashing fanfics, please include them into your reviews. And then there is also those SasukexOC ones, please include any good fanfics based on that pairing. The Sakura bashing in those are great.

Read!

Enjoy!

And most importantly, REVIEW!

Naruto and his team entered Room 301 in time for the exam. Knowing that he wasn't very good…ok, SUCKS at written tests, he already made a few arrangements. He went to the examiner Ibiki and forced out the secrets of the test out of him. Naruto, seemingly please and over-confident just had to make his signature introduction.

"I'M UZUMAKI NARUTO, YOUR FUTURE HOKAGE! AND NONE OF YOU PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BEAT ME!" Naruto huffed out every word proudly; not knowing the kind of attention that he was drawing. Every pair of eyes on him was filled with an evil aura.

"Naruto you baka, look at what you did!" Sakura ranted, but then turned to the audience, "Don't mind him, he's just off his medication that's all! I mean, he just likes to get attention, it's his nature!" Sakura began to sweat as she heard the murmurs that came from the crowds.

"I don't mind the blonde, I mean I saw his chibi form. It's that girl with the ugly pink hair that I hate."

"Yes, the huge forehead is just abnormal!"

"How does she lift her head, the forehead should be heavy."

"It's because it's a hallow forehead."

"Yeah, probably."

Sakura looked abashed as she took a step back. '_SAY WHAT_?' Inner Sakura screeched.

Sasuke and Naruto couldn't help but snicker behind her back. '_A well deserved comment for Sakura. A hallows forehead, GET IT?_' Just then, a silver haired ninja approached them (AN: If anyone thinks it is Kakashi, watch the Naruto series again. SERIOUSLY!)

"You guys are attracting a lot of attention…maybe quite down a little bit? I'm Kabuto, and this is my 7th time at the Chunnin exams."

"Wow, you must be really dumb!" Naruto murmured to himself.

Kabuto chuckled. "I've been collecting ninja info cards, so I haven't been wasting my time exactly. Here, I've got about 200."

"OH! Look me up!" Naruto jumped up and down.

"Of course. Here it is Uzumaki Naruto. Teammates are Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno. Your sensei is Kakashi Hatake. You've improved immensely in all three of the critical areas of Ninja Art. (AN: I made Naruto really strong, ANBU level. Just in case, like what Zabuza did, close his eyes on the second encounter to avoid becoming a victim).

"Wow…wait, this isn't right. Something is missing."

"What's wrong?"

"It's not supposed to be Uzumaki Naruto, as in just Uzumaki Naruto."

"Then?"

"It's supposed to be Uzumaki Naruto, the Future Hokage."

"But this is supposed to be a formal info card, without nicknames."

"IT'S NOT A NICKNAME, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW! I WILL BE THE HOKAGE!" Naruto pointed at the info card that Kabuto was holding. "Change it so it's right and up to date."

"But…"

"KAWAII NO JUTSU!" Chibi Naruto stepped out of the smoke, attracting everyone's attention. Every single one of the candidates would do anything for this cute chibi. "Please Kabuto-kun, my dream means a lot to me. Change it to Uzumaki Naruto, the Future Hokage…please?"

"Here it comes, the ultimate reaction…" Sasuke muttered under his breath.

"OF COURSE, NARU-CHAN!" Kabuto, using his Chakra changed the info card to the way Naruto wanted.

Seeing that all went the way he wanted it to go, Naruto dispelled the Genjutsu. "Thank you!"

Kabuto looked abashed '_Oruchimaru-sama should know of this candidate, much more useful then Uchiha. That Jutsu is invincible_.'

Meanwhile, Naruto was busy admiring his info card. '_I love my life, honestly…_'

Author: There it is! Now to call my friend so she can bring my reward to school tomorrow. I love this job, I'm being paid! Review please, or our chibi Naruto will be of no more!


	7. Target Anko

Chapter 6: Target Anko!

Author: Sorry for the delay guys but my parents are hard on my education right now. Plus a teacher that gives a lot of projects and homework, there isn't much time to write the next chapter. Please bear with me!

Please Enjoy!

And Review!

Naruto, obviously passing the first exam no problem, sat back and began to close his eyes. Just as he started his nap, the window shattered and the second examiner barged in (Dun, dun, dun…).

"Alright! I'm Mitarashi Anko, your Second Examiner of the Chunnin Exams. Alright, LET'S GO!" The purple-headed sadistic ninja yelled as she threw her fist in the air. It was too bad that no one knew just how sadist she really was. "Wait, Ibiki you let this many Genin ninjas pass? You're getting soft!"

"Ugh…She's as loud and ugly as Naruto!" Sakura yelled.

Anko looked up to see the speaker to be a certain pink-haired Genin. How dare she insult Naruto like that, especially after how highly Ibiki spoke of his Kawaii no Jutsu! And to call her ugly, just look at her! Who is she to talk? "Hey you! The idiot with the pink hair!"

Sakura pointed to herself. "Who me?"

"Yes you, are there any more idiots with pink hair in the room?"

Sakura looked around and flushed. "You take that back!"

"The day when you finally get a normal forehead!"

"I already have a normal forehead!" Sakura looked around; hoping that people would support her. But unfortunately, no one did. Thinking of an excuse, she screeched "Your hair is PURPLE!"

"So? It requires less maintenance so I can have more time to train. That's a good thing! Unlike certain color, take a hint. PINK!"

Sakura crossed her arms. "So what if it takes time to wash it and all? It will make cute guys notice me!" Sakura blushed at the thought and glanced at Sasuke who just ignored her.

Anko was shocked to say the least. "What's the point of being Kunoichi if you put hair care as your top priority. And LOVE? Should training be at the top of your list? If you give that sort of attitude, then quit being a ninja. You'll be the first to die."

"You take that back!" Sakura screeched.

"The day when you get a normal and less blinding forehead!"

"Shut up!"

"You know, she is right Sakura." Naruto spoke up. "I mean, when we had that mission when we had to take old man Tazuna to the Wave Country and got attacked by enemy Shinobi. I had to save all of the team, which I did no thanks to you. And I have a real goal, to become the greatest Hokage, so everyone will finally acknowledge my existence. You just blushed and looked at Sasuke. And you hit me, you're Ultra-Mean."

"And Ultra-Useless." Sasuke declared.

"See? It's a point proven. Now tuck that forehead in and follow me to the 2nd part of the Chunnin Exams! Alright, let's go!"

At the Forest of Death

"This is the Forest of Death." Anko proceeded to explain the rules, about the scrolls and timeline. "And don't forget, if a teammate dies…" Anko looked around then shrugged, "You can go on without him. He's probably just weak and not fit to be a Chunnin."

(After all the Application stuff…)

"Now, we'll hand out the scrolls. Each team will receive one!" Anko shouted.

Naruto's team walked up. _'We'll need both scrolls to survive. And with Sakura on my team, it will be hard to get another team's scroll. They'll just take her hostage, so…I've got it!_' Naruto's eyes immediately lit up.

"Kawaii no Jutsu!" Chibi Naruto walked up to Anko. "Anko-Chan, can you do me a favor?"

Anko looked at the Chibi Naruto and hugged him. "OF COURSE!"

"Can you give us the other scroll? And if anyone attacks us, they get instant disqualification?" Naruto pumped a bit more chakra into his eyes, making them bigger and shinier.

"OF COURSE!" Anko set Chibi Naruto on the floor and walked over to a random team. "Excuse me Grass ninjas, but…" Anko took the scroll from the guy that looked suspiciously like a mummy in a flash. "I'm taking your scroll."

(AN: Guess whom? Dosu's Team!)

"ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP PEOPLE!" Anko shouted, getting everyone's attention. "Any team that dares attacks Naruto's team fails!" Anko shows the members of Team Naruto. "But feel free to kill the Pink headed one! In fact, anyone who kills her gets immediate entry into the tower, scroll of no scroll!"

"YATTA!" Chibi Naruto jumped up and down, hugging Anko.

"Alright, go to your assigned gates!" As everyone got to his or her gates, Anko lost the trance. "Ah, no wonder Ibiki fears it. It is powerful! LET THE 2ND PART OF THE CHUNNIN EXAMS BEGIN! KILL THE PINKY FROM TEAM NARUTO! KILL OR HURT NARUTO AND INSTANT DISQUALIFICATION AND DEATH!"

"YATTA!" Naruto's yell was heard as all the teams entered the Forest of Death, in hopes of finding and killing Haruno Sakura.

Author: **READ THIS! IT IS VERY IMPORTANT! **All right, one of the next few chapters of the exams, Sakura will die. Now REVIEW!


	8. Target Oruchimaru

Chapter 7: Target Oruchimaru!

AN: Sorry for keeping you waiting for so long, but my teachers is starting to pile on the homework. With term 3 report cards and all, it's hard to find time to update the story. Bear with me! I know I can survive, BELIEVE IT!

Enjoy!

Review!

"Naruto's team walks confidently into the Forest of Death, without any fear because it is Naruto that's leading them!" Naruto chatted brightly as he walked through the gates. "I feel great!"

"Quiet Naruto, it should be Sasuke-kun leading the team not you. Besides, it's not like anyone is going to attack us since they'll only get disqualified." Sakura ranted as she moved to hit Naruto.

"Remember Sakura-dobe, if a team killed or renders you unable to continue the exam, they get instant qualification. Naruto did something worthwhile with his Jutsu this time." Sasuke smirked '_I like that Jutsu. If I could just get it correct, I'll kill Itachi and then have Sakura fit an explosive tag into her head. Then I'll use my chakra to make the tag explode. No, not gruesome enough. I'll…_' (AN: We'll leave Sasuke alone to think up creative ways to kill Sakura. You readers can review me your ideas!)

"Sasuke-kun? How could…" Sakura was cut off as she looked at the maniacal grin that was imprinted all over Sasuke's face. '_I'll leave him alone now…_'

"Ku, ku, ku, ku, ku…Naruto-kun…" A voice hissed.

"Shut up Sakura, I'm walking in peace here…" Naruto started to count his ramen.

"I'M TALKING HERE! I, ORUCHIMARU SHALL NOT BE IGNORED!"

"Sakura, it's nice to see you've changed your name but…we don't really care. So run along and get killed." Sasuke huffed as he checked his Kunai supply.

"I, ORUCHIMARU, SHALL NOT BE COMPARED TO THAT PINK HAIRED IDIOT!"

"SAKURA, SHUT UP! I already know you have pink hair and you act like an idiot! Say it to someone who doesn't know. Oh wait, Anko already made it clear to everyone in the exam that you're a pink haired idiot! So don't talk at all!" Naruto shouted, obviously enraged by the fact that he lost count of the number of ramen flavors he's eaten.

"I'm not talking Naruto." Sakura whimpered.

"Huh? Oh, sorry mister!" Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"Naruto-kun, I am Oruchimaru and I can grant you infinite power if you come with me to sound…"

"Is there a place called Ichiraku Ramen Bar in Sound?"

"…No…"

"But…I don't want to go!" Naruto cried waterfalls. "I'll miss Ichiraku-San! I'll miss eating his ramen; I don't want to leave Ramen-Sama! (AN: Naruto's nickname for Ramen King. The character that gave him unlimited Ramen supply whenever Naruto dreamt)"

"Ramen-Sama?" All three ninjas looked at Naruto in an incredulous way.

"Ramen-Sama was so nice." Naruto explained. "He basically looks like a giant Instant Cup Ramen with load of ramen inside. He always gave me unlimited free Ramen but he goes away after I wake up."

'Ah…Kabuto was right, the Kyuubi container shall be easier to get…' Oruchimaru mused. "Henge no Jutsu!" Oruchimaru turned into a figure that fit the description of Ramen-Sama. "Come Naruto-kun…I shall give you unlimited ramen supply. It's all in Sound. My Ramen Paradise is in Sound!"

"Wow… Ramen-Sama!" Naruto started to drool slightly.

'_Got to think fast…_' Sasuke panicked. If Naruto was taken away, then there goes his chances of perfecting his own Kawaii no Jutsu. Not that he could anyway, that Jutsu has Naruto's name written all over it. '_I'll beat him at his own game._' "HENGE NO JUTSU! Naruto-kun, I'm the real Ramen-Sama. See, I'm bigger then that phony!"

Naruto's head immediately whipped around and ran to the 'real' Ramen-Sama (Cough, Sasuke, cough, and cough). "I shall treat you to ramen if you stick with the most powerful and coolest (AN: Yea, right. Whatever…) ninja there is. SASUKE UCHIHA!"

"RAMEN! RAMEN-SAMA! Wait, where's Ramen-Chan?" Naruto looked around. "She's always with you Ramen-Sama."

"Ramen-Chan?"

"She's nice. She gives me unlimited Ramen topping to go along with Ramen-Sama's ramen. She looks like a girly version of Ramen-Sama." Naruto raised a finger knowingly.

"HENGE NO JUTSU!" Sakura pronounced. "Here I am Naruto-kun!"

"I'M BLIND! I'M BLIND! MAKE IT STOP RAMEN-SAMA, I SAID GIRLY VERSION OF YOU, NOT UGLY!" Naruto screamed.

"Sakura dispel it, now!" Sasuke ordered.

"KAI!"

"I don't want to go to sound right now…I'll miss Ichiraku-San." Naruto explained.

"Then I shall give you a parting gift…Naruto-kun." Oruchimaru started to perform the seals required in giving the Curse Seal.

"Kawaii no Jutsu! You wouldn't have the heart to bit little me would you, Oruchimaru-chan? (AN: 2 things wrong with that statement: Oruchimaru doesn't have a heart and Oruchimaru-chan sounds wrong. But here, what I say goes!)"

"I…Of course Naruto-kun…" Oruchimaru slowly walked away.

"Let's go to the tower Team Naruto! YOSH!" Naruto punched the air and sped off towards the tower, with 2 teammates barely able to keep up to him.

Author: Na, the chapter is complete. I want to have a lot of reviews please, or I'll slow the updating process chocolate or no chocolate!


	9. Target Iruka

Chapter 8: Target Iruka!

Author's Note: Sorry for not updating, readers! But you see the teachers like to give the students more homework when it's almost report card time. Apparently, it's a 'Cram Time'. I really pity myself. Luckily, there's not much of school left and being the Student Council Executive helps you get out of class. Hopefully, I will have more time to update during the summer!

Now, Read!

Review!

And Enjoy!

XxXxXx

When Team Naruto finally reached the tower, Sakura was tired beyond hell. Her normally ugly hair was more demented then ever, and the sweat that she produced only polished up her forehead. Simply put, she was uglier then normal, if possible. The look puts Chouji's fatness, Kiba's smell and Sandaime's wrinkles to shame.

Naruto pushed the 2 scrolls into their proper slots and walked into the opened doors. There, the scrolls were pealed open to summon Iruka. Naruto's eyes immediately lit up.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto jumped up to Iruka and began to cry. "There was this really ugly Ramen Cup in the forest! It was so scary and it had a forehead. A shiny one! Ramen don't have foreheads, right? I mean, it's not natural, neh? Ramen is the most innocent among the species of noodles! They're cheap, yummy, plain and filling! MAKE THE NIGHTMARE GO AWAY!"

"Naruto, calm down and tell me exactly what happened, slowly." Iruka's parent mode took over the moment Naruto's tears became visible. Together, they sat down and Naruto told his tale through hiccups and sniffles.

"See, I was walking down a trail trying to count all the Ramen flavors that I ever ate. You know, like beef, chicken, Miso, seafood…"

Iruka sweatdropped and scratched his head. "Naruto, how about you tell us the story and discuss the flavors at the Ramen Bar."

"Okay!" Naruto agreed by nodding his head wildly. "So anyways, I heard this voice, see. And it was really snake-like. It'ssss like thisss." Naruto imitated the voice from earlier. "And then, this weird man wearing a lot of make-up popped up out of nowhere and started telling about going to the Sound village. The thing is, there's no Ichiraku there!" Naruto's expression was one of absolute horror.

Iruka nodded eyes full of understanding.

"Of course, I rejected his offer. I told him that Ramen-Sama needs me to stay in Konoha, see. Then, Ramen-Sama appeared to offer me his words of wisdom! He said that there's a Ramen Paradise in the Sound village. Is that true? How come I don't know about it? Can we go there for a vacation sometime? Maybe I can ask the old geezer to get me a mission in Sound! I'll just dump my team to go search for it!"

"Naruto, stop acting so off-handed! Baka!" Sakura screech fell on deaf ears as Naruto's eyes gleamed at the thought of Utopia.

"Sakura, Naruto's in the middle of his story. Please maintain an acceptable indoor volume." Iruka gave his automatic response. It came from years of teaching in the Academy.

"So anyways, I could tell that it was a fake. I mean, it was puny! The voice was way off, and man! Ramen-Sama so doesn't have yellow eyes with purple eye shadow! But then, a bigger Ramen-Sama came! I mean, it didn't look right either but Ramen-Sama must have slept really late yesterday. So yeah, and then I was like 'Where's Ramen-Chan?' to everyone. I mean, ever Ramen needs to have a girlfriend you know?" Naruto raised a finger knowingly.

"Ramen is not even alive, Baka!" Sakura snorted.

"If Ramen isn't alive, then I don't know what is wrong with you. Cus' from what I see, Ramen is more well loved then you. And anyone that has a life is loved!" Naruto defended his Ramen-Sama with full intensity.

"Continue, continue!" Iruka hushed at Sakura.

"So then, this really phony Ramen-Chan appeared! She was so ugly and demented that even if she could give out free Ramen toppings, it would taste bad! And this is coming from me!"

Iruka was horrified. Naruto has just confirmed something that was expected, but still horrifying. "Sakura, you created a messed up Henge again didn't you. You shouldn't try any techniques that use a lot of Chakra! The henge that you were supposed to create should be large, but your Chakra reserves wouldn't allow it! You know that!"

"Sensei! You don't understand!" Sakura immediately started to protest.

"SILENCE DETENTION!" Iruka roared, causing Sakura to shrink.

"And that means polishing up the Hokage monuments!" Naruto added.

"Naruto I did not say that…" Iruka began.

"KAWAII NO JUTSU!" Chibi Naru-Chan ran up and hugged Iruka, "Pretty please, Iruka-niichan?"

"Ah…SAKURA, DON'T LEAVE UNTIL I CAN USE THE MONUMENT AS A MIRROR! GOT IT?" Iruka obviously has no protection against it. It's too bad, nobody does.

"But!" Sakura cried.

"You heard sensei!" Naruto grinned cheekily.

"NO, Naruto that's an abuse of power!" Sakura cried.

"I know!"

XxXxXx

Author: Ok, please review now!


	10. Target Haishi! NaruHina

Chapter 9: Target Haishi!

Author: I've noticed that many of my reviewers are NaruHina fans! I am one too! So this chapter will be dedicated to this pair. Now, if any of you want other pairings in place, please review and tell me. If I approve, then Naru-chan will be the infamous matchmaker! I hope this will please everyone!

If you want a pair to be Sakura and anyone, dream on. Well, I'll approve her and Pakkun (Kakashi's dog)

Please review!

Enjoy!

XxXx

The surviving teams lined up in front of the Hokage. Naruto glanced around and noted to himself how all the rookie 9 made it past Anko's sadistic torture. 'Oh! Hinata's here too!' Naruto grinned cheekily and waved at her, not knowing that it was by that action that caused Hinata to turn red.

"Alright everyone! Glad to see that you are all alive, now we proceed to the 3rd part of the Chunnin exams! Anyone that wish to quit may do so now."

Kabuto raised his hand, "Examiner, I wish to quit."

Naruto gapped. "Kabuto, put that hand down now! Don't you know better? Quitting is not the way of the ninja! You have to show them how cool or in my case, cute you are!"

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata brought up her fingers and poked at them. It was becoming extremely hard to maintain her will now. Naruto's Kawaii no Jutsu screamed 'Bring me home, feed me, then hug forever!'

"Yea Hinata?" Naruto whirled around and brought his attention on to her, Kabuto completely out of his mind.

Naruto's sudden gaze caused Hinata 'eep'. "Ah… N-nothing r-really, N-Naruto-k-kun. J-Just really h-happy to s-see that all o-of us are h-here." Hinata smiled shyly.

"Really? Great, 'cause you'll be here to watch me blow everyone away with my cute-ness!" Naruto flashed his foxy grin and Hinata had to bite her tongue so that she does not cuddle the blonde to death.

"A-ano, I-I…" Hinata was at a loss of words. Her shy personality completely washed over her.

Naruto just grinned. The infamous I-know-that-you-know-that-I'm-cute grin. "It's okay Hinata-chan, I completely understand!"

Some time Pass

"Hinata-chan? I'm hungry."

"R-really?"

"Yea."

Silence.

"Hinata-chan? I really like ramen, did I ever mention that to you?"

"I t-think so, Naruto-kun."

Silence.

"If I were to be hungry right now, I would go to Ichiraku and fill myself up with ramen with you sitting next to me."

Hinata blushed. Silence.

"And I'm hungry right now."

"O-oh!" Hinata finally understood what Naruto was hinting at. She would have understood sooner, but with shy-ness blinding her during most of the conversation, she was…yea…

"Umm, maybe you w-would like t-too go to Ichiraku's w-with me?"

"Really! I'd love to Hinata!" With that, Naruto grabbed the poor Hyuuga by the arm and dragged her towards Ichiraku.

Some time Pass

"Hinata-chan! That was great, you're so nice!"

"R-really?"

"Hai! You should bring me home, feed me and hug me forever!"

Hinata gasped, was that a Déjà vu?

Flashback

Naruto's sudden gaze caused Hinata 'eep'. "Ah… N-nothing r-really, N-Naruto-k-kun. J-Just really h-happy to s-see that all o-of us are h-here." Hinata smiled shyly.

"Really? Great, 'cause you'll be here to watch me blow everyone away with my cute-ness!" Naruto flashed his foxy grin and Hinata had to bite her tongue so that she does not cuddle the blonde to death.

End Flashback 

"Hinata-chan?" Naruto's voice snapped Hinata back to reality.

"Ano, o-okay Naruto-kun."

"Really! 'Cause I'd really like that. I saw it on television once and it looked cool!" Naruto grinned.

With that, Hinata lost all self-control and dashed of towards the Hyuuga mansion, with Naruto being dragged behind her.

XxXx

Hyuuga Haishi was infuriated. Never, has Hinata ever brought home anyone. He would have encouraged her, but seeing that it was the demon child that was with her…he blew his top.

'_That brat! He's got all the other villagers to cuddle and hug him ever since he invented that Jutsu! Why does he have to bring it here?_' The Hyuuga head rampaged in his mind.

"Hinata! How could you bring such a creature to the Hyuuga mansion! I thought I taught you better! You're so weak, why are you even in the Main Family?"

"Kawaii no Jutsu…" Naruto whispered in a hushed voice that Haishi was unable to detect. After slipping into his Kawaii side, Naruto latched onto Hinata's leg and whimpered.

Haishi blinked. Stand in front of him was the little bishi that he had heard so much of. He understood perfectly why everyone loved the boy. He was cute, very cute. Haishi, unable to maintain control, kneeled down to Naruto. "Is there something I can do for you?"

Naruto sniffed and a few tears came out.

"Tousan! You made Naruto-kun cry! How could you!" Hinata's stutter-ness has miraculously disappeared.

"Stop crying, I'll do anything for you."

"Anything?" Naruto's eyes cleared up and now possessed a rather evil glint to it.

It was that day; Hyuuga Haishi learned to never mess with Uzumaki Naruto. The boy's the perfect example of what is known as 'Abuse of Power'. Hyuuga Haishi was forced into public caked with make-up that was randomly chosen be Naruto. Simply put, Naruto's Kawaii no Jutsu: Makeover style was devastating.

XxXx

Author: Please review! But, an note that must be mentioned:

**There is to be under no circumstances, Sakura x Any human being!**

Just s you know.

LoLz


	11. Target Shikamaru!

Chapter 10: Target Shikamaru! 

Author's Note: Sorry about updating so slowly, but it's summer and authors tend to get lazy during the summer! Therefore, please bear with my laziness. It is this that has inspired me to use Shikamaru as my target of the chapter, since he is the one Naruto character that understands me the most at the moment! Well, on with the story.

**Important**: I'm running out of ideas, please review your ideas to me!

Please Review!

And Enjoy!

XxXx

Naruto was bored, very bored. Not only was the fact that they were just waiting for the other examinees to arrive at the tower, Ramen-Chan has refused to talk to him let alone give him Ramen toppings. It's all Sakura's fault; Ramen-Chan was ever insulted when she was told when it was a pink-haired girl that has attempted to transform into her. Naruto spent hours sulking, refusing to talk or eat. Not even Itachi's of a scroll with deadly Jutsus (Though Naruto still accepted it), Kakashi's gift of Icha Icha Paradise Volume 1 Limited Edition and Sasuke's suggestion of burning Kakashi's porno books could help cheer him up.

Naruto hugged his knees and cried, "Ramen-Chan, come back!"

"Naruto-baka, stop sulking over an imaginary character!" A shrill scream cut through Naruto's sobs. Naruto looked up to see the same ugly pinkette that has been haunting his, and now Ramen-Chan's lives.

"But, Ramen-Chan (hiccup) is crying right (hiccup) now! And her (hiccup) is cutting through my innocent heart (hiccup), making me feel sad!"

"OH NARUTO-KUN! YOUR CRIES HAVE REACHED TOO THE HEARTS OF THE GREEN BEASTS OF KIONOHA! I, ROCK LEE AND GAI-SENSEI CRY FOR YOU, YO-O-OSH!" Naruto didn't even need to look, he already knew who the speaker was.

"NARUTO-KUN! YOU MUSTN'T LET YOUR FLAMES OF YOUTH FLICKER! YOUR YOUTHFUL FLAME MUST LIVE THROUGH THIS, THROUGH RAIN, SNOW AND UGLY FOREHEAD LIGHTENING!" Gai continued his (very) youthful student's speech, as Lee is unable to finish due to his sobs about how Naruto's sadness has affected him too. "LEE! YOU MUSN'T CRY, REMAIN STRONG FOR THE HONOUR OF KONOHA'S GREEN BEASTS!"

"YES GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

And we all know what's going to happen…

"How troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed. "You're obviously going to continue sulking until somehow, the ramen that was lost is replace aren't you?"

Naruto nodded.

"And you're crying to gain attention, hoping that some idiot's going to pity you enough to treat you to an all-you-can-eat ramen buffet."

Naruto nodded.

"How troublesome…"

Naruto thought for a moment. "Shika-kun?"

"No."

"Shika-kun?

"No."

…

……

……….

"You've left me no choice, Shika-kun. I never thought that the day would come for me to use such a devastating strategy on you, but you're just asking for it. Kawaii no Jutsu!" In a poof, the legendary Chibi god Naruto appeared and started crying. "Shika-kun is so-o-o mean to me!"

"How troublesome, using Chibi-mode to make me seem like some bully. Then, people will pity you and turn towards me with hateful eyes until I figure out a way to cheer you up, such as a ramen feast. There's no way out of this, you're sly Naruto, sly just like the fox."

"OH SHIKAMARU, HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING IN ATTEMPTS TO DAMPEN NARUTO'S YOUTH FLAME? THIS GREEN BEAST IS SO DISAPPOINTED! PLEASE, FIGURE OUT A WAY TO STOP THIS CHIBI'S SOBS!" Rock Lee and Gai cried and hugged each other.

Shikamaru looked over to this Uchiha. " This is your fault, all your fault! Uchihas are so damn troublesome!"

Sasuke shrugged, "Naruto can't help me perfect Kawaii no Jutsu if he's sulking you know."

"You treat him."

"Do I look crazy?"

"You're richer."

"You're the one in trouble."

"You dug this hole."

"You're the one in it."

"You too are sly, Uchiha, very sly."

"Shika-kun? To Ichiraku's Ramen?" Shikamaru looked down to see a pair of large cerulean eyes, and fell immediately to Naruto's trap.

"This is damn troublesome. Curses."

XxXxXx

As Shikamaru mourned the loss of his money, a certain author is about to make her ending note.

And here it is:

Author's note: Please update and I'm kind of running out of ideas. So somebody's got to review me some ideas! Never fear, there will be credit.


	12. Nottie, Nottie!

Dear Reader,

I had such a wonderful time writing fan fiction and read all of your wonderful reviews. Most unfortunately, I just so happened to pass a spontaneous will to enter this one special high school that requires an entrance exam, a really high-leveled entrance exam. The high school's name is UTS, or rather, the high school program from the University of Toronto. Therefore, I am studying myself dead and am unable to find time to write to you, other then the time that I am spending to write this, of course. I am sincerely sorry for this for I know that many of you are looking forward to the next chapter. My exam is on December 16th, and my results will come after around 15 days. I submit the entrance exam (SSAT) by February 1st, and will have an interview at the school sometime in March. So until then, I am probably be enable to write much, if not any. I will try to write something for Christmas. Gomen ne!

Again, I am very sorry for all of this. Please do try to understand my reasons for this postponing. My future is riding on these few short months of studies. Please try to be understanding and encourage me instead of making me feel guilty!

Sorry-z,

Takara-Hime


	13. No Target

_Author's Note: Minna!! I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a LONG time…please don't kill me!! . _

_Naruto: I don't know… . I was laid off for a pretty long time…._

_Author: Umm…O LOOK! I have a ramen ticket…where'd I get this 1?_

_Naruto: I am willing to take that as a bribe. You're forgiven!!!!_

_Author: D_

_Sasuke: You're not forgiven on my standards. Of course…If you add yoai to this… . _

_Author D 14 years old…never faced such a situation…_

_Me no own Naru!! ; ;_

_Help me find a solution to this problem!!!!_

Naruto had always wanted to become Hokage, it was his dream, and the reason that had kept him going when he wanted to fall. However, this new startling revelation was starting to make him change his mind.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!?!?!"

"It's more of a tradition than law, but it's still 100 necessary." The (much) older blonde's lips curled in a devious fashion before it disappeared behind a bottle of sake before reappearing, the grin still clearly present.

"So you're saying, that at my current state…I can't be Hokage?" The usually loud and utterly adorable lil' blond's usually loud voice was quivering with betrayal.

Tsunade's grin was now threatening to split her face, "No worries. I'm sure you can fix the problem!" With that, the younger blond was shoved out, and the door was slammed in his face.

Naruto's next words rang through Konogakure no Sato.

"But I don't WANT to loose my virginity just to be Hokage!!!!! UWAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Dori dori dori dori dori dori

If Naruto knew, then he would have wished he had Hinata's voice. For at the very moment, the heads to 2 certain Uchihas, 2 Hyuugas (1 passed out) and a certain Yamanaka perked up.

Dori dori dori dori dori dori dori dori

**Online Messenger-Konoha Server**

Mr.Uchiha has logged on

Uchiha'sWife has logged on

_Uchiha'sWife- Forehead girl! Guess what!!!_

_Mrs.Uchiha- What do YOU want??_

_Uchiha'sWife- Listen, listen! I have got the SEXIEST lil' piece of gossip EVER!_

_Mrs.Uchiha- …_

_Uchiha'sWife- I was near the Hokage Tower, when I heard Naruto!_

_Mrs.Uchiha- So? The loser probably didn't have any ramen tickets and wanted to complain some from Tsunade-sama. Hmph._

_Uchiha'sWife- No, something BETTER. Hokages can't be VIRGINS. Nyahahahaha!!_

_Mrs.Uchiha-…_

_Uchiha'sWife-You dumb forehead! I mean, Naruto has to do IT with someone if he wants to be Hokage. While he's at it, there'll be a camera set up and I'll sell that tape on eBay for lots of money so I can buy that wedding dress for me and Sasuke's wedding!_

_Mrs.Uchiha-Dream on Ino!!!_

_Uchiha'sWife-Sorry, very busy right now!_

_Uchiha'sWife has logged off_

_Mrs.Uchiha-Hey! Get back here!!!!!!!! _

_XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX_

_Destiny has logged on_

_He'llDieSoon has logged on_

_He'llDieSoon- Hyuuga._

_Destiny-Uchiha._

_He'llDieSoon-You know if we go head on, I'll win._

_Destiny-You WISH, Uchiha. I'm going to help Naruto become Hokage!_

_He'llDieSoon-No, I AM!! You were the one who kept making fun of him about it in the Chunnin Exams!_

_Destiny-You always call him 'dobe' because of it. My incident was a one-time thing. I can tell Naru-chan wants my love, he said he'd change the Hyuuga JUST for me when he becomes Hokage. It's only polite to help him help me. Smirk._

_He'llDieSoon- O yea?_

_Destiny-Yea…too bad you came too late. Or else you would have seen his promise/indirect confession of love!!!_

He'llDieSoon has changed his name to - KitLuver

_Destiny-I can change my name too!_

Destiny has changed his name to - FatedForHim

_KitLuver- You're in DENIAL!!!_

_FatedForHim- Apparently, he doesn't think so. Smirk._

_FatedForHim- Naruto's apartment is closer to the Hyuuga mansion then the Uchiha mansion you know? I have the advantage!!!!_

_KitLuver- Damn you!!!_

_KitLuver- I'm a faster runner then you!_

_FatedForHim has logged off_

_KitLuver- You cheater…_

_KitLuver has logged off_

Dori dori dori dori dori dori dori dori dori dori

Meanwhile, a poor Naruto was dragged by one Hyuuga Neji from his dinner and to the Hyuuga Mansion, only to be used as a human tug-o-war rope when one Uchiha Sasuke appeared halfway…Maybe he has used too much Kawaii no Jutsu….

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Author's Note: Should I add some yoai into this? Honestly, I don't really mind yoai. I'm a semi-yoai fangirl!

You guys vote!!


	14. Voting on Pairings

Author: Ohayo minna! How was your first day of school? (…Author tries to go kill her English teacher…to no avail…) There has been a debate recently of whether or not the story shall make a turn to yoai or stay straight. Even though I haven't counted the reviews yet, all I can say is that there are a lot of supporters on both sides. Therefore, a vote shall take place as of now. These are several ways that the pairings may end up, so please take your vote.

SasuNaru

NejiNaru

HinaNaru

SasuNejiHinaNaru

NejiSasuNaru

Obvious Hinting of NejiSasuNaru, but HinaNaru prevails (xD)

Until the voting has a significant amount of numbers in which a clear majority can be given, the story shall progress in a freakishly kawaii fight over Naru-chan!

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Naruto has faced many fears in his life, from being denied the healthy environment to grow up in, a time when Ichiraku closed for an entire week due to the head chef having back pains, and having to clean up the damn foxes prison because as the feared 9-tailed fox claimed that paws are not a good effective tool for cleaning up poop. You would think that Naruto would not be frightened that easily, having gone through and dealt with many youth mental scarring. It would take a lot for the young kitsune chibi to stock up on vast supplies of instant noodle, lock the door, hammer it up with nails, chain it up, push the sofa against the door and then build himself a heavily kage bunshin guarded fortress.

For Naruto, the Hyuuga-Uchiha rivalry was never so frightening.

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**Online Messenger – Akatsuki Server**

SharknotFish has logged on

ArtisticClay has logged on

PervyKiller has logged on

_SharknotFish- O!!!_

_ArtisticClay- M, un!!!_

_PervyKiller- …_

_SharknotFish- . _

_PervyKiller- …G…_

_PervyKiller- …Why are we supposed to be so shocked…?_

_ArtisticClay- I never knew that Online Messenger has an Akatsuki server, un!_

_SharknotFish- You think that our dangerously evil mass killing organization that has to kill a lotta people and stay low at the same time has been discovered??_

_ArtisticClay- OO Leader's going to KILL us!! What are we going to do?!? Kisame! It's your fault! You're too messy with your killing!!_

_SharknotFish- WHAT?? I clean up!!_

_PervyKiller- …You forgot to pick up the legs of that girl you killed that Friday…_

_ArtisticClay- You severed her legs? How artistic!_

_SharknotFish- How'd you know that?? Who are you???_

_PervyKiller- …I am Uchiha…Itachi…_

_ArtisticClay- OO_

_SharknotFish- OO_

_PervyKiller- …What…?_

_SharknotFish- __Pervy__Killer Itachi…that is soooo wrong…_

_ArtisticClay- Un…_

_PervyKiller- …As for your question, this server is not a legal server…I hacked the Online Messenger main database and created this server…_

_SharknotFish- Hacking is ILLEGAL!!_

_ArtisticClay- Kisame, you're an S-class Criminal for a reason, un._

_PervyKiller- …I also got a hold of VERY interesting development about the Kyuubi vessel… You know how he's always spouting about how he's going to become Hokage…?_

_SharknotFish- It is DAMN annoying!!! :0_

_PervyKiller- …He can't be a virgin if he wants to become Hokage, and by foolish little brother and this Hyuuga are hell bent on helping him…Kukukukuku…_

_ArtisticClay- Is that Orochimaru's laugh?! 0.o_

_PervyKiller- …I borrow a lot of things from him, like his credit card…_

_SharknotFish- It's a Platinum Sound Unlimited Visa Card and Itachi won't even SHARE!!!_

NotSoShy has logged on

_SharknotFish- Who's that?_

_PervyKiller- …I don't care…_

_NotSoShy- I am Hyuuga Hinata_

_SharknotFish- Aren't you the heiress to the Hyuuga, the one that always stutters?_

_ArtisticClay- How'd you get onto this server?!?!0.o_

_NotSoShy- I HACKED! 0_

_PervyKiller- …_

_SharkNotFish- But how did a person hack onto a server that was created by hacking??_

_NotSoShy- Everyone thinks I'm a girl that's too shy, and underestimate me. I used this to my advantage. While Neji-nii-san and Sasuke-san are busy fighting for Naruto-kun, I will steal Naruto-kun from under their noses! Kukukukuku!!!_

_ArtisticClay- I'm scared, un…_

ArtisticClay has logged off

_SharkNotFish- Didn't Orochimaru place a copyright on his laugh last time when he found out that people went around mocking his laugh?_

SharkNotFish has logged off

_PervyKiller- …You live in Konoha, right…?_

_NotSoShy- Yes._

_PervyKiller- …The Gama Sannin Jiraiya resides in your village…I request an autographed copy of the new Icha Icha Beach Fun…_

_NotSoShy- It's sold out, I tried to get it… ; ;_

_PervyKiller- …Tell everyone that Sasuke has a birthmark on the left side of his behind… His fangirls will keep him busy while you steal Naruto…_

_NotSoShy- Throw in Neji-blackmail, and I'll get you your book._

_PervyKiller- …Neji once found a white hair on his head…_

_NotSoShy- OO really?!?! Wowies!! Ok, I'll mail you the copy. I hacked your address too._

NotSoShy has logged off

PervyKiller has logged off

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It's been an entire week of refuge in the (not-so) invincible Naru-Fortress, and our poor blonds' ramen supply has been thoroughly exhausted. Without food, it would mean that his chakra recovery would be painfully slow. That means the number of Kage Bunshins produced for the sake of keeping hordes of people from mauling him would decrease, ultimately leading to either Sasuke or Neji braking in.

There was a knock on the half broken door, and Naruto's head slowly turned in a dramatic manner towards the sound.

There was a tense moment until Naruto heard what he considered the kindest sentence he ever heard.

"Naruto-kun, I know that you haven't gone shopping for a long time. So um, I brought you some ramen that I made for you to eat." A shy voice, almost barely audible over the grumbling of Naruto's stomach made its way to Naruto's ears. For a moment, Naruto just sat there enjoying the moment as the word 'ramen', rang in his eardrums, then…

"HINATA-CHAN!!!!"

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Somewhere else, Hyuuga Haishi was currently being sued at an amount that could empty the entire Hyuuga fortune. Something about using a copyrighted slang on the Online Messenger?

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Author's Note: I think that I will leave it hanging there. There is mentioning of all the pairings and I gave Hinata a personality that is going to be effective when fighting for Naru-chan.

Well, please vote for the pairing that you want. The voting will end when I decide that there is a clear majority.

Saa, ja ne! D


End file.
